蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on December 20, 2024 by Jim Earl

COVER

Image | Posted on December 20, 2024 by 科技上网工具下载安装 | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on 科技上网工具app下载 by Jim Earl

“I will never apologize for the United States — I don’t care what the facts are.”

George H. W. Bush, a man so dishonest and racist he even offended Roger Stone, is now spending the afterlife in a Bosch painting performing a ventriloquist act with Augusto Pinochet’s crow-emitting anus.

V2Ray 客户端-何先生:2021-6-10 · V2RayU：v2rayU-v2.1.0 官方下载安卓客户端： V2RayNG： v2rayNG-v1.2.9 官方下载 iOS 客户端： ios 目前没有发现免费的客户端，付费的客户端有：Shadowrocket、pepi、i2Ray、Kitsunebi 和 Quantumult。何先生推荐 Quantumult 。Linux 客户端：

Those at the scene recalled the former president’s final words as, ”Read my lips: no CPR.”

Totally bereft, son Jeb refused to accept the physician’s decision until he forced a feeding tube down his father’s throat.

Bush’s term as president was defined by his quick response to Saddam Hussein’s 1990 invasion of Kuwait when he assembled an impressive international coalition of 35 soldiers, two trucks and a rake.

推荐科学上网工具，支持苹果安卓PC端:2021-7-31 · 作为一个软件开发工作者，常常需要使用科学上网软件在google学习查找最新的资料，由于国内的搜索系统基本上都是照搬的国外的一些比较陈旧的方法或者资料了，根本不是最新的，所众只有无奈借助VPN网络加速工具去论坛查找最新的有帮助资料。

To honor the deceased, President Trump called for a national day of mourning and closed Wall Street, a fitting tribute to the man whose son shut down the economy for 10 years.

Trump also decreed government agencies fly Old Glory at half-staff- as soon as he received a new shipment of flags from China.

The 94 year-old Bush, who lived longer than any previous U.S. war criminal, is survived by his immediate loved-ones: a son named Marvin nobody talks about, MSNBC and CNN, FOX News, Oliver North, the Saudi royal family, and Ellen’s glass coffee table.

Bush requested his remains be grabbed by the ass after someone asks his corpse who his favorite magician is.

Oh, and Dan Quayle.

BUY THE DISGUSTING BOOK AND HELP KEEP ME ALIVE. If you don’t want evil Amazon getting a ridiculous cut of the profits, email me at Jim@JimEarl.Com and I’ll send you an autographed copy! Oooooh boy!

Posted in 科技上网工具app下载 | Tagged Dan Quayle, Ellen, 科技上网工具app下载, Iran Contra, Iraq War, obituary, Oliver North, war criminal | 科技上网工具app下载

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on August 28, 2018 by Jim Earl

McCain Palin John McCain, the man who came close to giving Sarah Palin the presidency with one defective beat of his freeze-dried heart, just left a big, steaming bag of dog crap on America’s doorstep in the form of Donald Trump and the Tea Party.

A family spokesman said the deceased died surrounded by loved ones, 8 to 11 houses, and over 228 million Americans who can’t afford a $1,000 emergency.

Responding to the news with the predictable, gushy, effusive, sap-laden horse shit, both sides of the aisle praised the 35 years of public-service McCain spent courageously receiving the kind of medical care he fought so hard to deprive millions of desperate Americans.

When reached for comment, a bug-eyed Steve Schmidt was still breathing through his mouth and dropping his “T”s while Rachel Maddow teared up, bit her bottom lip, and tapped her pen for schmaltzy emphasis.

Sources say family members are consoling themselves with the thought that “John is now up in heaven where he can comfortably watch American troops spend an eternity in Iraq.”

A warrior to the end, McCain recently found the strength to thrust a final dagger into the dying Democratic party by telling Joe Biden to “stay in politics.”

Never one to shy away from criticizing his own party when it could make him look good, the straight talker had this to say about the Trump presidency: “I’m concerned about the state of the country.” You’d really think a war vet who unleashed Sarah Palin on the world might be more adept at anticipating danger.

A maverick himself, President Trump decided to cancel the tradition of flying the White House flag at half-staff after someone told him it wasn’t a tribute to the dead possum on his head.

科学上网客户端下载【合集】_OLEOU | 噢勒噢 V3.0:2021-2-22 · 科学上网客户端下载【合集】(02-22) 地狱少女1-4下载(06-03) 随行付mpos机错误伕码00处理(05-19 ... 本文标签：软件科学上网上一篇：ApowerREC傲软录屏软件「1.4.2.13」绿色特别版下一篇：用友812下载 ...

In a final nod to his celebrated Naval career, McCain requested he be allowed to crash his funeral five times.

McCain’s love for the Navy was so intense, he even reenlisted during his 2008 presidential campaign to serve on the USS Swift Boat.

Reflecting from his deathbed, the senator confessed his biggest regret in life was never weighing in on why DJ Khaled refuses to eat pussy.

After voting for the president’s agenda 83 percent of the time, the deceased ordered in characteristic mavericky manner that President Trump not be allowed to attend his funeral. To which a weary country sighed, “Like the Bush family’s better?”

Memorial services for the deceased will be announced once the undertaker can build the danged coffin!

At McCain’s request, the service will include a rendition of ’Danny Boy’ sung by opera singer Renee Fleming. This is to be followed by a short set from the remaining members of “The Keating 5 Combo” with Sheldon Adelson taking Al Cranston’s place on drums, Hank Kissinger filling in for John Glenn on vibes, and Oleh Tyahnybok taking McCain’s place on percussion, hand claps and swastika.

McCain’s remains will lie in state in the Arizona Capitol before flip-flopping to the U.S. Capitol Rotunda and triangulating into a hole at the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis.

UPDATE:
Plans for Sarah Palin to deliver the eulogy had to be canceled after a nationwide search failed to find a translator.

Partial List of Mavericky Pallbearers:
National Right to Life Committee
JPMorgan Chase & Co
Raytheon
Sheldon Adelson
Christian Coalition
Lockheed Martin
Goldman Sachs
Citigroup
AT&T
General Electric
Bank of America
FedEx Corp
PricewaterhouseCoopers
High-yield junk bonds

BUY THE DISGUSTING BOOK AND HELP KEEP ME ALIVE: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged DJ Khaled, Donald Trump, George W. Bush, Iraq War, John McCain, Keating Five, Lockheed Martin, maverick, Raytheon, Sarah Palin, Swift Boat, US Navy, Vietnam War | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on 老王科学的上网工具下载 by Jim Earl

My fellow Americans: Major combat operations in Barbara Bush have ended.

GitHub - excellentVPN/Shadowsocks-VPN-Wiki ...:Shadowsocks-VPN教程：认准Shadowsocks-VPN官网地址、客户端下载安装（Windows、Mac、iOS、安卓）、Trojan + Shadowsocks + V2ray设置教程。推荐这款便宜好用的翻墙梯子、科学上网、加速器工具。

And now our coalition of Earth’s natural elements is engaged in securing and deconstructing her cell structure. The tyrant has fallen. And Kennebunkport, Maine, is now free from her brooding presence at Mabel’s Clam Shack.

As Jesus once said: “No one can escape the relentless grab-ass of death.” And so, Barbara (Pierce) Bush, a First Lady whose main claim to fame was allowing two war criminals in and out of her bat-filled sniz, is now playing host to more beneficial parasites.

科学上网指南 - 简书:科学上网指南推荐工具：Shadowsocks Shadowsocks服务网站推荐理由：支持PC,安卓，IOS等多平台使用，服务稳定第一步：注册账户

Close friends eulogized her as a “national treasure whose glaring frown could really light up the room.”

科学上网常见问题 - 58资源站:1 天前 · 当前位置 58资源站各类教程正文下一篇: PC端科学上网常见问题科学上网常见问题作者: 58掌柜发布: 2021年6月17日 4阅读问题：pac模式和全局模式有什么区别？答：pac模式：只有在pac规则文件里的才经过伕理服务器；全局模式：浏览器打开所有 ...

Miss Barbara Pierce first met George Herbert Walker Bush in college and soon after they married. She later said George was the first man she ever kissed without reading his lips about no new taxes.

Surfboard教程 | 安卓最快上网工具_OLEOU | 噢勒噢 V3.0:2 天前 · 《舌尖上的中国》下载 (附：(10-31) v2rayN为什么要设置成全局才(02-07) 科学上网客户端下载【合集】(02-22) 地狱少女1-4下载(06-03) 随行付mpos机错误伕码00处理(05-19) PC版微信助手WeTool永久免费(09-10) cloudflare免费CDN加速使用(07-13) 金蝶文件

2021年科学上网方法整理-史上最全的科学上网教程 - 潘达工具箱:2021-5-19 · Panda科学上网工具的使用也非常适合大多数用户，只需三步即可快速上外网：购买Panda加速器账号：开始使用Panda科学上网之前，需要先购买一个数字账号且购买相应的套餐。（注册地址）下载Panda客户端：拥有了Panda的账号众后，根据自己的需要，下载相应的客户端，并进行安装。

Indeed, Mrs. Bush’s casual, down-to-earth manner soon earned her the label of “America’s grandmother” from those in the Bush administration. It’s not clear who they considered “America’s grandfather,” but I’m thinking maybe Joseph Goebbels.

Bereaved family members are consoling themselves with the thought that the deceased is now up in heaven getting confused for the Quaker Oats guy.

The deceased requested her remains be interred in the family fetus jar.

BUY THE DISGUSTING BOOK AND HELP KEEP ME ALIVE: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Barbara Bush, 科技上网工具下载安装, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, Iraq War, ISIS, 科学上上网工具下载, Terrorism, war criminal | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on April 3, 2017 by Jim Earl

(animation by Martha Previte)

Robert Hulseman, Inventor of the now ubiquitous red beverage holder, is dead after drinking a 16-once cup of trucker urine he thought was last night’s beer. He is survived by daughters Patricia and Margaret, who both happen to be D-cups.

Hulseman was born in 1932 in Chicago and as a teenager contracted polio. The experience affected him so profoundly he made a pledge that if he ever recovered, he’d create a red plastic cup.

Introduced in the mid-1970s, the Solo Cup quickly became the receptacle of choice for growing pot seedlings and getting teenagers drunk enough to put their penises inside apples pies, something the devout Christian was probably thrilled about.

Over the the years, the inventor was known for his generosity and devotion to the Catholic church. Translation: he gave them a bunch of fucking cups.

In 2005, the New York Museum of Modern Art added a Solo Cup Traveler’s Lid to its permanent collection, mostly out of concern that modern art didn’t already have a bad enough reputation.

And in 2011 his red cup was immortalized in a Toby Keith song. Which I have no jokes about because I refuse to listen to it.

Hulseman was preceded in death by his devoted wife Sheila, whose coffin lid was designed to accommodate extra foam and reduce dribbling at the rim.

Windscribe 紧急连接：没有其他工具情况下科学上网 | 拓扑社:2021-6-29 · 利用这项功能，我伔可众在没有其他科学上网工具支持的情况下，仅用Windscribe这款工具本身就能实现科学上网。 1.下载Windscribe桌面客户端，打开紧急连接目前仅Windscribe桌面客户端提供紧急连接的功能，所众我伔需要先下载桌面客户端。下载地址

BUY THE DISGUSTING BOOK AND HELP KEEP ME ALIVE: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Catholic church, 上网科学工具pc端下载, plastic cup, Red Solo Cup, Robert Hulseman, Toby Keith, traveler's lid | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

用电脑科学免费上网 December 16, 2016 by 科技上网工具app下载

BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | 科技上网工具app下载 Big Mac, Big Mac Inventor, diabetes, heart disease, McDonald's, Michael Delligatti, Ronald McDonald, special sauce, stroke | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on December 5, 2016 by 上网科学工具app下载

Robert Ettinger, the cryonics pioneer who advocated freezing the dead with the hope that medical technology would someday enable them to pay taxes again, is dead at the age of 92 after attempting to defrost an erection he had back in the ’60s.

Ettinger first came up with the idea for cryonics in World War II during the Battle of the Bulge when he saw a bunch of frozen bodies and thought, “I can make money off of that, sure.”

BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

什么叫"科学上网" | 刷啊刷:为什么要科学上网。我要出去看大大世界，我要上google搜索资料，而不想被度娘广告摆布；我要在FACEBOOK上面和歪果仁交盆友，我要在telegram上面畅欲言，不怕群和河蟹。今天小坑分享是一个用来科学上网工具。你不知道什么叫“科学上网”，请自行

For its services, the Cryonics Institute charges customers $28,000. But if you bring your own tin foil, “5 bucks.”

The first person Ettinger deposited at the Institute was his mother, Rhea. This was followed by ten years of Ettinger depositing her Social Security checks.

He also froze the bodies of his two wives, Mae and Elaine. They’re stored next to a sign reading, “WARNING – Do Not Open.”

Ettinger’s last wishes were to someday be brought back to life as a 92 year-old man with a lot of really serious health problems.

BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Cryonics, Death, frozen head, hot dogs, immortal, Robert Ettinger | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Posted on December 3, 2016 by Jim Earl

nancy Nancy Reagan, the controlling, pill-popping child-beating matriarch of a sick, fucked-up family who regularly stole Valium and diuretics from each other; and proud wife to a president who once declared ketchup a vegetable before ultimately becoming one, is now dead of complications resulting from a “ruptured Gipper.” Or in medical terms: congestive heartless failure.

BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

According to witnesses, moments after she fell ill Nancy uttered her last words: “Fire the fucking astrologer.”

When reached for comment, friend Tom Brokaw ignored most of the facts and said something insultingly stupid.

Reagan redefined the role of First Lady, taking on such important responsibilities as ignoring AIDS, hoarding flower vases and criminalizing entire neighborhoods of black people.

But perhaps her greatest challenge came the day Ronald Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. For now at long last, she finally had the complete control needed to exact obsessive revenge fantasies upon her empty, flesh-robot husband as partial payback for all those years her stepdad withheld the love she was never emotionally equipped to receive to begin with. But, she was a snazzy dresser!

After her husband’s death, Nancy took on the role of vigilant caretaker for his legacy at the Reagan Library, where she could often seen dusting off “the book.”

Family members can console themselves with the thought that Nancy’s now up in heaven, still refusing to help Rock Hudson get treatment.

BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, 科技上网工具下载安装, First Lady, 上网科学工具app下载, Rock Hudson, Ronald Reagan, Tom Brokaw, valium | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

上网科学工具pc端下载 September 19, 2016 by Jim Earl

crouch Jan Crouch, who 43 years ago co-founded the world’s largest Christian television network with nothing more than a pocket full of hope, hair resembling the helmet Rick Moranis wore is Spaceballs, and $30,000 in fraudulently secured donations, is now crouching sideways six-feet under a praying mantis.

Crouch reportedly died of a stroke. When reached for comment a spokesman for the network refused to return a phone call because there wasn’t any money involved.

Jan Bethany first met Paul Crouch, her future husband, in the mid 1950s. An occurrence many atheists cite as the only real proof Satan exists.

After struggling in ministries in South Dakota and Michigan, the couple decided to move to Los Angeles in the early 1960s after a source tipped them off that Jed Clampett might be a good mark.

As the years passed, it was clear their union was a Christian match made in heaven: a minister’s daughter, whose dogs live in a $100,000 motor home, married to a pastor who’s fucking the male employees.

The Crouch Trinity Broadcasting Network was touch and go at first. But by the late 1980s their telethons raised more money than Jerry Lewis’ muscular dystrophy telethons, mainly because the couple looked like they needed more medical help.

Crouch’s last request was that her network continue stealing from low-income Americans.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

科学上上网工具下载 Uncategorized | Tagged Christian television network, Jan Crouch, Jesus, Jimmy Dore Show, Paul Crouch, Satan, TBN, televangelism, Trinity Broadcasting Network | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

科技上网工具下载安装 September 10, 2016 by Jim Earl

schlafly_img Phyllis Schlafly, the conservative icon who proved by example that women can be huge assholes too, is now dead after doing all the damage she could possibly do in 92 years.

A champion of traditional, stay-at-home roles for women, Schlafly ran for public office twice, wrote 27 books, and never stayed at home. Plus, her son’s gay.

Schlafly once declared that married women “can’t get raped” because by marrying, a woman has consented to sex. And by marrying Bill Cosby, a woman has also consented to a lifetime of wondering what the hell is in her drink.

At the age of 24, the struggling librarian “consented to sex” with a man from a wealthy banking family, allowing her to take on the traditional role of a hypocrite marrying for money.

A vocal Trump supporter, Schlafly said she didn’t think a female should be president because, quote, “Our greatest presidents have all been men.” Which pretty much is the same as saying, “Our greatest men have all been men.”

But in the end, Schlafly’s most cogent and valid argument against giving women equal rights was her very existence. And so she died.

Mrs. Schlafly is survived by six children. So I guess she really loved a “deep consenting.” Plus, her son’s gay.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 用电脑科学免费上网, conservatism, Equal Rights Amendment, ERA, 用电脑科学免费上网, 科技上网工具下载安装, rape | Leave a comment

Future Obituary – Ted Cruz, Canadian Sausage, Pitchman For Snot

Posted on September 4, 2016 by Jim Earl

CRUZ Ted Cruz, the passionate and effective fighter for ineffective government, medieval economic theory and the Constitution as defined by Nazis, is dead after forty-five years of poorly imitating human life.

His daughter reportedly found the Republican presidential candidate in their home, drowning in a bathtub filled with his own cooties.

福源币手机端下载 - 币搜:2021-4-28 · 谢谢科学上网。。 OK用客户端 APP可众用的风声太大听不发表于 2021-3-20 09:54科学上网。。 OK用客户端有没有好用的工具分享一下风声太大听不发表于 2021-3-20 09:54科学上网。。 OK用客户端客户端我前段给卸载了现在再想下载不知

Cruz’s mom is of Irish descent and his father is Cuban, so every Saint Patrick’s Day he gets drunk and trims his wife’s bush.

In 1974 when Ted was just five years-old his father abandoned the family and moved to Texas. Yes, it was THAT bad.

In 1995, Ted Cruz graduated from Harvard Law School, answering the age-old question: “What could make people hate lawyers even more?”

As Senator from Texas, Cruz’s greatest achievement was uniting both sides of the aisle in their universal disrespect for Canada.

The deceased requested that the stick up his ass be used to plant his body outside Planned Parenthood in order to act as a deterrent to sex.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

上网科学工具pc端下载 Uncategorized | Tagged Cuba, Harvard, Planned Parenthood, snot, Ted Cruz, Texas | Leave a comment

Future Obituary: Roger Ailes, Sexual Consultant

老王科学的上网工具下载用电脑科学免费上网 by Jim Earl

Roger-Ailes Roger Ailes, the half-sentient fat-pyramid whose fetish for garter belts, locked office doors, and exposing “red, raw hamburger meat” to horrified employees lead to a rewarding $40 million golden parachute as head of FOX News, is dead of shame after learning Steve Doocy got to feel up Megyn Kelly without his permission.

Born in the cretaceous era, Roger Ailes grew up in the small factory town of Warren, Ohio, where the ambitious youth hoped to one day follow in the footsteps of his abusive father.

As a boy he was often hospitalized for what doctors first thought was hemophilia. They later determined the real cause was that his blood was just too creeped out to stay inside him.

Ailes is credited with the “Orchestra Pit Theory” of sensationalist television which he summed up as quote, “You have two guys on a stage and one guy says, ‘I have a solution to the Middle East problem,’ and the other guy falls in the orchestra pit. Who do you think is going to be on the evening news? And who do you think will get to extort blowjobs and rape underage models?”

Ailes’ resignation at FOX came within days of Debbie Wasserman Schultz stepping down as DNC chairwoman, which begs the question: “Have you ever seen these two together?”

In response, Ailes called Carlson’s suit, “retaliatory for the network’s decision not to renew her contract after she refused to fuck me and anyone I told her to fuck.”

Ailes wasn’t just a powerhouse media consultant and television executive. He also had a sensitive side and liked to experiment with poetry. One favorite was this gem he’d regularly recite to the delight of new interns:

“You know if you want to play with the big boys,

You have to lay with the big boys.” (mic drop)

Dedicated to his beloved business until he very end, Ailes’ last words of wisdom were reserved for his nurse:

“If you want to make it in the TV business, you’re going to have to fuck me. And you’re going to have to fuck anyone I tell you to fuck. Now fetch my diaper.”

Burial arrangements haven’t been made yet because Ailes had to fire his undertaker for refusing to fuck his dead body.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged blow jobs, FOX News, Gretchen Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Roger Ailes, sexual harassment, Steve Doocy | Leave a comment

Antonin Scalia: The Poor Man’s Robert Bork

老王科学的上网工具下载 February 26, 2016 by Jim Earl

Antonin Scalia, the jolly, bushy eye-browed Santa-sized racist misogynist homophobe fake-intellectual Supreme Court Justice who regularly pled “no contest” to free meals, is dead after 79 years of staining his robes.

Cause of death was undetermined, but the legal consensus is the universe had “just cause” to terminate his life.

Scalia died at a west Texas hunting ranch run by members of the International Order of St. Hubert, Patron saint of hunters, of whom Scalia was the most prominent member who could no longer find his member.

St. Hubert’s martyrdom is a particularly inspiring tale of struggle and faith. After his tormentors stuffed him with a devilishly mouthwatering selection of Pork Loin in a bed of Guava and Plum Sauce followed by Almond Mole Chicken, Viceroy’s Cake and a delicious homemade ice cream, Hubert barely had the strength to cross the spacious veranda and make it back to his complementary luxury quarters where he quickly fell onto a plush pillow-topped bed and succumbed to the demonic enticement of a gentle sleep.

St. Hubert is also the patron saint of metal workers and smelters. And right now Scalia isn’t smelting very good.

Responding quickly to the news, President Obama ordered all flags to be flown at “half caring.”

The president went on to reassure an alarmed nation that “now all we have to do is wait for half of Congress to drop dead.”

Those who knew him say Scalia was a man of varied tastes, with a fondness for poker, opera, and forcing poison through the veins of innocent people on death row.

Funeral services for his body included a ten-hour repose in the Supreme Court building not far from where Clarence Thomas has been sleeping for the last twenty-six years.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Contstitution, death penalty, Order of St. Hubert, originalism, Supreme Court, Texas hunting ranch | 科学上上网工具下载

Lavoy Finicum – Oregon Militia Spokesman, Mormon Recruiter, Incompetent Cowboy

Posted on February 19, 2016 by Jim Earl

LaVoy LaVoy Finicum, who once said he had no intention of spending any of his “days in a concrete box,” is now spending eternity in a pine one.

科学上网指南 - 简书:科学上网指南推荐工具：Shadowsocks Shadowsocks服务网站推荐理由：支持PC,安卓，IOS等多平台使用，服务稳定第一步：注册账户

Witnesses say Finicum then angrily rushed cops with his gun after they promised to reunite him with his wife and eleven foster children.

Cops reportedly shot Finicum with two 45 caliber bullets from their service revolvers, yet another government service he’ll never pay for.

When he heard the news, fellow protestor Ryan Bundy issued the statement, “My thoughts and prayers go out to every halfwit in America.”

Though the occupation is over, officials warn the refuge still has to remain closed for several months out of concern many of the buildings may be “poopy trapped.”

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

PC端 写真批量浏览下载 - 木头分享-木头分享:电脑硬件检测工具 AIDA64-PC PC AG网页视频嗅探下载v4.2 美图录妹图 – 图片打包下载爬虫工具 UltraISO Premium Edition v9.7.2.3561高级破解版 PhotoshopCC 2021 v20.0.9.28674 中文精简绿色版 LZZ磁力资源搜索器 Bilibili视频下载器 – 支持批量下载UP主专辑

Posted in 用电脑科学免费上网 | 老王科学的上网工具下载 blue tarp, Clivan Bundy, LaVoy Finicum, Malheur Wildlife Refuge, Oregon militia, trench full of human feces | Leave a comment

Dr. Wayne Dyer, Former Catholic School Driver’s-Ed Instructor

Posted on September 1, 2015 by Jim Earl

Dr. Wayne Dyer, internationally renowned motivational guru and one of the bestselling authors of all time, died Saturday after 75 tedious years of enduring his own bullshit.

The cause of death was not immediately disclosed, although it probably had something to do with the universe finally mastering the art of manifesting its incredible force by killing somebody.

When reached for comment, friend Tony Robbins said his death was, “But a transition: from the living, to the mystical realm of probate and estate division.”

The author, whose title of “Doctor” held less validity than the title of “Skipper” did on Gilligan’s Island, was found “dead not dying with the music still in him.”

Last year, Mind Body Spirit magazine ranked Dyer as the eighth most spiritually influential person in the world after Mickey Mouse and Hitler.

自认为很全的pc端youtube视频下载方法评测及安装方...:2021-3-29 · 标题：自认为很全的pc端youtube视频下载方法评测及安装方法（主mac ）（一）网页在线 ... 补充一下：如果发现和我一样没办法辨析网址的可众把科学上网变成全局模式然后就可众了 3. downie3 要钱的..没试过哈哈哈有visa的小伙伴可众买一个网上 ...

Dyer requested his remains be buried where his three ex-wives can’t get at them.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adolf Hitler, Dr. Wayne Dyer, 科学上上网工具下载, Oprah Winfrey, personal fulfillment, 上网科学工具app下载, self help, 科技上网工具app下载, universe | 科学上上网工具下载

Rudy R. Perz, Creator of The Pillsbury Doughboy

Posted on April 20, 2015 by Jim Earl

Advertising whiz Rudy R. Perz, creator of the iconic Pillsbury Doughboy, pinched his final loaf this week after failing frantically to pop a fresh breadstick.

Upon hearing the news, Liz Nordlie, President of Pillsbury, released a statement saying, “We paid that man off years ago. We owe him nothing.”

Under pressure to produce a mascot representing bleached flower, thiamin mononitrate sodium acid pyrophosphate aluminum and yeast, Perz created his first three-dimensional Doughboy doll of clay in 1965 at the cost of $16,000, or roughly what you’d pay a surgeon to remove half your large intestine.

The pudgy man of dough became such a hit, it was once cited by Brian Wilson as the main motivation behind releasing “Pet Sounds.”

To distinguish the Doughboy from the actual rolls of dough, Perz gave it a blush, a scarf, a chef’s hat, two big blue eyes and a warm chuckle. As for the penis, it gets amputated every time you slam the can against a kitchen table.

When the first doughboy was filmed using stop-motion, it came as a shock to many rural Pennsylvanians who assumed it was the ghost of Rick Santorum’s dead fetus.

His chuckle of “Hee hee!” when poked in the stomach became his trademark, after other catch phrases were rejected including, “No please no!” when someone bit off his head, and “What the, huh?” when repeatedly poked in the ass.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 科技上网工具下载安装, bleached flower, Leo Burnett, Pillsbury Doughboy, Poppin' Fresh, Rick Santorum, 老王科学的上网工具下载 | Leave a comment

Darrell Winfield, Marlboro Man and Full-Flavored Smoke

Posted on 用电脑科学免费上网 by Jim Earl

Marlboro-5-124781 Darrell Winfield, one of the most recognizable Marlboro Men, primarily because he was the only one who lived long enough to get recognized, is dead after a prolonged illness that probably started 50 years ago.

Although he lived to the relatively old age of 85, doctors still caution that had he not smoked, he could have made it to 300.

Asked what life might have been like if he hadn’t become the Marlboro Man, Winfield answered plainly: Life would have basically been the same. But without all that money and pussy. And all those cars and the four houses. And all that pussy.

Friends described him as a “man’s man,” who just liked working on his ranch every day, lighting cigarettes and crouching a lot. And then of course there was all that pussy.

Winfield was so authentic, he often provided the cattle and horses that appeared in the commercials. They all have lung cancer now.

Winfield requested his remains be lit on fire with a burning twig and marketed to children.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cancer, 上网科学工具pc端下载, commercials, Darrell Winfield, Marlboro Man, smoking | Leave a comment

Melvin Gordon, CEO Of Tootsie Roll

Posted on April 2, 2015 by Jim Earl

Tootsie Melvin Gordon, chief executive of Tootsie Roll Industries, is dead after more than half a century spent desperately trying to pass a sticky, brown log that refused to melt even during the hot summer months.

科学上网指南 - 简书:科学上网指南推荐工具：Shadowsocks Shadowsocks服务网站推荐理由：支持PC,安卓，IOS等多平台使用，服务稳定第一步：注册账户

The first Tootsie Roll was produced way back in 1896 by Brooklyn inventor Leo Hirschfield. Twenty-five years later he committed suicide by shooting himself in the stomach. That’s not a joke.

In 1988 Tootsie Roll became the world’s largest maker of lollipops, branching out with such popular candies as Sugar Daddy, Junior Mints, Dubble Bubble, Wack-o-Wax, Junior Daddy, Wack-o-Bubble, Dubble Mints Daddy Wax, Masonic Ditty-Dots, Razzles’ Chocolate-Covered Fur Nips, and Crunchy Caramel Dingle-Berry Daddy Dudds with Zinc.

The Tootsie Roll company now produces 64 million Tootsie Rolls a day. Experts calculate that if every Tootsie Roll ever produced were placed end-to-end, it would be the setup to a good joke.

Confectioners agree the most famous Tootsie Roll ad, “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” may never be answered. But perhaps the most pertinent question facing science is why it always tastes like a cardboard anus.

The real answer to the lick question, the company writes on its website, “Depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, and how much of your pancreas is still working.”

电脑软件下载_常用软件下载_绿色软件免费下载 - PC下载网:2021-3-1 · PC软件园是免费软件下载网站,PC软件频道众系统软件,杀毒软件,网络工具,图形图像等应用工具为主,纯净用户体验,没有垃圾广告的电脑游戏和软件下载基地。

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

亲测有效 | 「无需绑定付款方式，注册外国Apple ID教程」 - 知乎:2021-12-23 · 能上网的电脑+ iPhone + 手机科学上网工具。提示：手机的科学上网的工具可众自行在公众号（Apple集市）找个外区的账号下载。众下众注册M区ID为例。PC端登录[Apple ID](Apple ID),注意要带 …

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged candy, diabetes, Junior Mints, Leo Hirschfield, Melvin Gordon, saliva, Sugar Daddy, Tootsie Roll | Leave a comment

Future Obit – Camille Cosby: Lead Accountant at Cosby Enterprises Inc.

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Jim Earl

上网科学工具pc端下载 Camille Cosby, one of the few select females ever allowed to naturally fall asleep around her husband, is dead after collapsing face-down in a bowl of pudding and drowning in a sea of JELL-O™ lies.

When reached for comment, her husband could only utter a half-hearted “Hey hey hey” followed by an equally tepid, “Greeza-maza hahahaha!”

Camille Olivia Hanks first met William Cosby in 1963 on a blind date. “Blind” because she blacked out after the first ten minutes.

The two married less than a year later. Back then it was a simpler time, she later recalled, when the only way you could drug a woman was to apply a homeopathic blister of cantharides and cataplasms to her feet, perhaps supplemented by wheat poultices upon the neck along with a hot tonic mixture of molasses, butter and vinegar, quickly followed up with a vinegar and sage tea for gargling, or more commonly, a tartar emetic.

Just like her husband’s first sitcom “The Bill Cosby Show,” their fifty-year marriage was unique among celebrity relationships as it did not use a laugh track. Although Vic Tayback did star as Calvin the mechanic.

The deceased leaves behind more than 20 assault victims “whom many in the media have given a pass” and weren’t properly “vetted.”

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Bill Cosby, 科技上网工具app下载, Jello, pudding, rape | Leave a comment

Future Obit – Dick Cheney: Avid Hunter, Fitness Freak, Monster

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Jim Earl

ChENEY Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney, the only human capable of using another person’s heart without caring who it previously belonged to, has finally died after years of being dead.

Still grieving, his daughters refused to accept their father’s demise, and instead referred to it as “Enhanced death.”

As a youth growing up in Wyoming, the plucky Cheney quickly showed his mettle by earning five military deferments and two DWIs.

He subsequently flunked out of Yale twice, inspiring his later Congressional vote against the creation of the U.S. Department of Education.

In 2011, Cheney published his biography “In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir,” in which he described himself as “the most powerful President in American History.”

Over the years he had five heart attacks, at least seven cardiovascular procedures and bypasses involving stents, grafting and implants, and at one point, was outfitted with an artificial blood pump leaving him without a pulse for a year and a half – but still, he never got a dinner.

The deceased requested his remains be buried next to proof of Saddam Hussein’s WMDs so nobody can ever find them.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adolf Hitler, cigarettes, Dick Cheney, Fascism, heart transplant, Iraq War, Saddam Hussein, vampires, Yale | Leave a comment

S. Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A

Posted on 用电脑科学免费上网 by Jim Earl

S. Truett Cathy, the Southern entrepreneur who in one lifetime transformed a small, hometown business into a global symbol of homophobia and cancerous lab rats, is now undergoing death conversion therapy.

Chick-fil-A announced Cathy’s demise but refused to disclose the exact cause explaining, “It would take too long to list all the ingredients.”

Truett Cathy is credited with inventing the first fast-food chicken sandwich. It may not sound like much, but it sure beats taking the rap for a series of mysterious smothering deaths in the early ‘50s.

In 1964, Cathy presented First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson, with a Chick-fil-A sandwich during her visit to Georgia. One year later 2,000 American soldiers died in Vietnam. Coincidence?

The devout Southern Baptist became famous for closing his stores on Sundays so employees could spend more time at home with their families, and in the process, learn to hate life.

The company’s official statement of corporate purpose says that the business exists, “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. And to make him really fat.”

Interesting Funtoid: The chain’s advertising slogan, “Eat mor chikin,” contains the deliberately misspelled words “more” and “chicken” so they can legally get around actually offering customers “more” “chicken.”

Cathy requested his body be breaded and de-boned, and his soft, white buns delicately buttered and garnished with nothing more than a couple of pickles.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged buns, Chick-fil-A, 科技上网工具下载安装, chicken nuggets, chicken sandwich, fast food, 用电脑科学免费上网, homophobia, meat glue, S. Truett Cathy, Southern Baptist, the South | 用电脑科学免费上网

科技上网工具下载安装

Posted on 科学上上网工具下载 by Jim Earl

Don Levine, the Hasbro toy executive credited with doing more to distort America’s concept of war than Bob Crane’s errant penis, is now being outflanked by an army of ants.

Born in 1928, the 86 year-old recently attributed his longevity to the fact that he never once set foot in a VA Hospital.

Levine first got the idea for the miniature figure while serving in the Korean War after he caught several Chinese soldiers hiding in his helmet.

Chrome扩展推荐：不用科学上网也能轻松访问谷歌服务 - 知乎:2021-8-26 · Chrome扩展推荐：不用科学上网也能轻松访问谷歌服务玩转科技 2021-08-26 Ghelper 谷歌上网助手 Ghelper是一款基于超文本压缩协议与DNS绶冲等多项加速技术实现的反向CDN浏览器加速软件, 可众有效提高由运营商之间带…

The doll boasted 21 moving parts, including a pair of flexible shoulders John McCain would one day come to envy.

But the Vietnam War raged on and interest in the dolls waned. And sadly, parents soon discovered that when they brought their G.I. Joes home, there were no parades.

As the public shied away from military-related toys, Hasbro countered with the popular “Upper GI Joe,” whose main talent was being able to avoid combat due to digestive problems.

Levine requested his body be laid to rest on a mattress of Kleenex tissues crammed inside an old shoebox.

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: 使命召唤手游国际服下载、注册、加速一站到位-百度经验:2021-4-29 · 使命召唤手游国际服下载、注册、加速一站到位,使命召唤国际服已经上线了，但目前依然有部分玩家在问如何下载，如何注册游戏账号，如何解决网络卡顿等问题，今天我就为大家讲解超简单的COD国际服下载、注册、加速全教程。

老王科学的上网工具下载 Uncategorized | Tagged action figure, Don Levine, G.I. Joe, GIJoeCon, Hasbro, Korean War, toy soldiers, 科技上网工具app下载 | Leave a comment

老王科学的上网工具下载

老王科学的上网工具下载 October 4, 2013 by Jim Earl

“It’s Cal Worthington and his burial spot!”

Cal Worthington, the legendary Ford dealer who once boasted he’d “eat a bug” if you bought a car, is now getting eaten by bugs after buying the farm.

Born in 1920, Worthington grew up in the stark poverty of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl with no one to confide in but his dog “Sand.”

Things got so bad during the Depression, the young Worthington had to quit school and help support his family by selling babies to hobos.

During World War II, he flew 29 missions over Germany in a 1941 B-17 Flying Fortress. You know, a lot of times Boeing would register and sell a B-17 and for some reason the deal wouldn’t go through and now they’re stuck with a used plane when it’s only got a few miles on it. Look at it check it, here’s a dandy little bomber that’ll sell for about half what it’s worth new. This is where your friends are.

After the war, Worthington built a cult following into the biggest used-car dealership west of the Mississippi with his weird collection of freaky circus animals posing as pets. But to anyone south of the Mason-Dixon line, it was just another Tuesday.

The cause of death has not yet been determined, though experts speculate he may have been suffering from feline AIDS.

His ad campaigns were so popular, the phrase “Go see Cal” became part of the vocabulary of every Southern Californian. And once they read the full lease agreement, so did the phrase “Go see a lawyer.”

By 1979, Worthington was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. It was at this point he decided to divorce his wife Barbara and trade her in for a newer model with bigger headlights.

You can find Cal Worthington’s memorial off the 405 Freeway at 2850 Bellflower Blvd. in Long Beach. All he asks is that you see his grave first. Come on down. It’s just a big ‘ol giant, friendly supermarket of death. He’s got acres and acres and acres of death. Casket’s open till midnight every night. See ya here!

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 405 Freeway, Cal Worthington, Car dealership, Dust Bowl, Long Beach California, Southern California, 用电脑科学免费上网 | Leave a comment

用电脑科学免费上网

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Jim Earl

Ettinger first came up with the idea for cryonics in World War II during the Battle of the Bulge when he saw a bunch of frozen bodies and thought, “I can make money off of that, sure.”

For its services, the Cryonics Institute charges customers $28,000. But if you bring your own tin foil, “5 bucks.”

The first person Ettinger deposited at the Institute was his mother, Rhea. This was followed by ten years of Ettinger depositing her Social Security checks.

He also froze the bodies of his two wives, Mae and Elaine. They’re stored next to a sign reading, “WARNING – Do Not Open.”

Ettinger’s last wishes were to someday be brought back to life as a 92 year-old man with a lot of really serious health problems.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Cryonics, Cryonics Institute, Cryopreservation, hot dogs, Robert Ettinger, Social Security, World War II | 2 Comments

John Galardi, Founder of Der Wienerschnitzel

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Jim Earl

John Galardi, beloved founder of the hotdog chain Der Wienerschnitzel, is now Der ceased.

Doctors say Galardi died from an incurable form of Der Pancreatic Cancer, but they can’t be sure until after the Krautopsy.

It was way back at the tender age of 23 that the ambitious Galardi looked at the glut of hamburger stands in his neighborhood and decided to carve out a niche with his “trademark wiener.”

In 1961, Galardi opened up his first restaurant with little more than a pocket full of gumption and the maximum percentage of FDA-allowed insect parts and rat snouts.

Over the years, the chain became famous for its advertising mascot, an animated hot dog who runs screaming from anyone asking to know his real ingredients.

Memorable ad campaigns included the slogans, “DER Fun Since ‘61,” “We’re DERlicious,” and the ill-conceived, “Our Bites Are Macht Fried.”

Wiener factoid: Did you know approximately 17 billion hot dogs are eaten in the United States every year? That’s about 75 for every man, woman and tumor.

Galardi requested his remains be ground into a spicy paste, packed into a tubular, transparent casing, and buried deep within his wife’s buns.

用电脑科学免费上网

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged California, Der Wienerschnitzel, 老王科学的上网工具下载, insect parts, John Galardi, Pancreatic cancer, Wienerschnitzel | Leave a comment

上网科学工具app下载

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Jim Earl

The 96 year-old was found suffocated inside a used Quaker Oats box after his son forgot to poke enough air holes in the foil cover.

Reynolds was cousin to tobacco king R.J. Reynolds, who sold the first aluminum filtered cigarette with the slogan, “Come To Where The Flavor Is. And Then Forget Where You Are Because Now You Have Alzheimer’s.”

An expert salesman, Reynolds liked to arrange public demonstrations to personally show customers how to preserve leftovers with his product, often enlisting the help of his wife to wrap his sausage.

A stern disciplinarian, Reynolds was known to keep employees in line by yelling, “Don’t forget who wears the foil hat at this company!”

Reynolds requested his remains be covered in order to prevent splatters, protect against over-browning, and help keep his body parts moist.

Posted in 科学上上网工具下载 | Tagged Aluminium foil, Alzheimer's disease, Business, David Reynolds, Health, Materials, Reynolds, United States | Leave a comment

【 Shadow socks 】Shadow socks(伕理上网工具)新版下载 ...:2021-6-22 · 您所在的位置：软件中心 »网络应用 »其他应用 »Shadow socks(伕理上网工具)新版下载 Shadow socks新版下载地址直达 Shadowsocks是一款伕理服务器上网工具或者可众说科学上网工具，主要功能是用户可众使用该软件通过国外伕理正常上网，看到外面的世界，你懂得！

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Jim Earl

Huell Howser, the iconically jovial star of public television’s, “California’s Gold,” is now ironically under six feet of “California’s Dirt.”

When he first learned he had cancer, the folksy travel guide reportedly shoved a microphone in his doctor’s face and asked how much the MRI machine weighed.

Witnesses who found his body were heard to exclaim, “Oh my gosh!” and “Holy cow!”

Doctors refused to reveal any more details about his death other than to say “he probably won’t be getting amazed by anything anymore.”

Friends say Howser probably could have survived longer had he not taken so much time out from chemotherapy to do a month-long series on lint.

Family members are consoling themselves with the thought that Howser and his microphone are now up in heaven, interviewing – aw who am I foolin’? He’s lost forever in the dark void of nothingness we’re all doomed to inhabit once our bodies succumb to the inevitable ravages of mortality. He went avocado picking with a DOG!

Howser requested a portion of his ashes be dumped into the great system of California aqueducts so his remains can trace the route the water follows through the huge pipes, tunnels, canals and pumping plants, and along the way meet the men and women who are carrying on the proud tradition of bringing water to Southern California. He went avocado picking with a DOG!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aqueduct, california aqueducts, 上网科学工具pc端下载, cancer, Huell Howser, 科技上网工具下载安装 | Leave a comment

PC端科学上网常见问题 – 月下博客:2 thoughts on “ PC端科学上网常见问题 ” Pingback： V2RayW配置教程 – 月下博客 Pingback： V2rayN配置教程 – 月下博客 ... ShadowsocksR/SSR mac客户端下载 V2Ray 苹果iOS客户端下载、安装及使用教程 Trojan一键安装脚本傻瓜全自动搭建伪装网站 ...

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Jim Earl

H. Norman Schwarzkopf, the general who became famous for restoring pride to Americans by reminding them what it was like to crush a nation armed with shitty weapons and even shittier troops, is dead of heart failure after a chunk of plaque failed to meet a U.N. deadline to leave his left ventricle.

The burly general had been living in Florida for several years in quiet retirement, aside from some embarrassing episodes when tourists mistook him for a manatee and tried to feed him cabbage.

When asked for his reaction, 88 year-old George H.W. Bush tried to pour a bowl of Jello into his bedpan.

Modest, but not known for his intellectual prowess, Schwarzkopf once said, “It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle,” adding, “because a hero is a sandwich…Right?”

Once, when asked why his troops called him “Stormin’” Norman, he replied, “Because it rhymes with Norman. I dunno, get the fuck outta my face.” He was funny that way.

Schwarzkopf was treated for prostate cancer in 1993 and became a national spokesman for campaigns against the disease. Unfortunately, those campaigns usually involved massive aerial bombardment followed by a brutal, two-pronged commando assault thrusting deep up the patient’s ass.

Schwarzkopf requested his remaining life force be run out of Kuwait, boxed into a kill zone, and systematically incinerated on the Highway of Death – along with a busload of women and children.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 用电脑科学免费上网, George H. W. Bush, Highway of Death, Jello, Kuwait, Norman Schwarzkopf, United States | Leave a comment

科技上网工具下载安装

Posted on August 27, 2012 by Jim Earl

什么叫"科学上网" | 刷啊刷:为什么要科学上网。我要出去看大大世界，我要上google搜索资料，而不想被度娘广告摆布；我要在FACEBOOK上面和歪果仁交盆友，我要在telegram上面畅欲言，不怕群和河蟹。今天小坑分享是一个用来科学上网工具。你不知道什么叫“科学上网”，请自行Sam Porcello, chief scientist at Nabisco and the inventor of Oreo cream filling, is now being eaten by millions of diabetic ants.

Porcello’s body was found face down in a vat of milk, his Nutter covered with Butter and Doo all over his Dad. Plus, he had cancer.

No one can confirm the true origin of the word “Oreo,” but many believe it was derived from the sound people make when they find out they need dialysis. “Ohhr-eo!”

Porcello invented many Nabisco snack products, including SnackWells, which are currently in danger of contamination due to Fracking.

In 2011, Nabisco tried selling Oreos to Poland, but it was too hard to ship them with the cream on the outside of the cookie.

Interesting fact: The moon is 238,855 miles away, right? Did you know if you stacked every Oreo ever made, one on top of the other, you’d first have to remove half of them from Elvis Presley’s impacted colon?

The deceased requested the top be carefully twisted off his coffin so that generations of children could gaze in wonder at his cream-filled kidneys.

上网科学工具pc端下载 Uncategorized | Tagged cream filling, Doo Dads, Elvis Presley, Nabisco, Nutter Butters, Oreo, Poland, Sam Porcello, SnackWells | Leave a comment

Eugene Polley, Inventor of The Wireless TV Remote Control

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Jim Earl

Eugene Polley, inventor of the wireless television remote control, is no longer in control of anything.

Polley died in Downers Grove, Ill of natural causes, if such a thing was ever possible in Downers Grove.

Small and frail, the elderly Polley alarmed family members late Tuesday night after getting lost in the couch. Medical examiners were quick to note dog-chew marks on Polley’s torso and a sticky film of hummus or something all over his face.

Invented in 1955, Polley’s Flash-Matic remote worked like a flashlight and was shaped like a snub-nosed revolver, something many Americans would later shove in their mouths after watching eight hours of shitty westerns.

Sadly, the 96 year-old died before he had a chance to finish his most important invention: a remote control for his diaper.

Polley’s family expect him to be buried sometime next week. That is, if anybody can get off their fat ass and stop watching TV long enough to do something.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Downers Grove Illinois, Dumont Network, Eugene Polley, Invention, Jesus, Remote control, Television, United States, Zenith Electronics | Leave a comment

上网科学工具pc端下载

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Jim Earl

clash(windows客户端)使用教程_OLEOU | 噢勒噢 V3.0:2021-3-15 · 科学上网客户端下载【合集】(02-22) 地狱少女1-4下载(06-03) 随行付mpos机错误伕码00处理(05-19) PC版微信助手WeTool永久免费(09-10) cloudflare免费CDN加速使用(07-13) 金蝶文件操作发生下 …

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

Danny Evins, founder of the Cracker Barrel restaurant, is now offering up his lowest priced meal to hungry travelers, this time in a pine box.

Evins named the Cracker Barrel after the practice of customers in Tennessee who gathered at country stores to gossip and play checkers on top of an empty barrel stuffed with dead civil rights workers.

After going public in 1981, the Cracker Barrel became a stock market darling with a certain investment sector. Unfortunately that sector dealt mainly with lap bands.

Year after year the restaurant won rave reviews in magazines like Nation’s Restaurant News and Destinations. And year after year people would not read magazines like Nation’s Restaurant News and Destinations.

In 1991 Evins ordered all his restaurants to fire employees “whose sexual preferences fail to demonstrate normal heterosexual values.” Ironically, the directive coincided with the introduction of his most popular southern confection to date, the “Lingam Pecan Log,” a fluffy, cherry-laced phallocentric nougat wrapped in fresh caramel and latex.

trojan客户端下载 - tlanyan:2021-6-13 · 官网下载配置教程 clashX-v1.20.3.dmg 官网下载配置教程 trojan Linux客户端 trojan-1.16.0-linux-amd64.tar.xz 官网下载 trojan iOS客户端 iPhone/iPad打开App Store，搜索Shadowrocket、Pharos Pro。搜索不到请参考 “获取ios科学上网客户端”，安装后配置请

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Chain store, Cracker Barrel, Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, 科技上网工具app下载, 用电脑科学免费上网, phallocentric, Restaurant, Tennessee | 科技上网工具app下载

Windows PC客户端小白科学上网教程:2021-1-2 · 1. 软件安装 Windows - ShadowsocksR 4.7.0 系统要求： Windows XP 及众上设备要求： Windows 计算机下载软件导入节点设置您可众登录管理后台“获取订阅链接” 点击复制订阅地址。

Posted on December 19, 2011 by 用电脑科学免费上网

Buy Mourning Remembrance, the book, here! Cover art by Tony Millionaire! Copiously illustrated by Nathan Smith! Introduction by Marc Maron! Afterword by Rachel Maddow!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Marc Maron, Nathan Smith, Rachel Maddow, Tony Millionaire | 1 Comment

Kim Jong-il: Liz Taylor Fan, Billionaire Job-Creator

上网科学工具pc端下载 December 19, 2011 by Jim Earl

用电脑科学免费上网 Korean leader Kim Jong-il, who for 17 agonizing years revealed to the world the true nature behind most foreign film buffs, is now wearing a brown jumpsuit of dirt.

Jong-il reportedly died of a heart attack on a train while traveling between two popular famine areas.

584科学上网教程 - Leanote:2021-9-7 · 584科学上网教程 2021-09-07 18:21:37 18884 0 0 ymhe 上一篇: 584游戏加速使用教程下一篇: 超级宠物指伖 0 赞 18884 人读过新浪微博微信腾讯微博 QQ空间人人网导航主页 About Me 归档标签最近发表 58pan使用教程樱花GMO伕购 SSR如何选择正确 ...

During his reign, Kim Jong-il ruled over his citizens with a doughy fist, and was often referred to as the “Supreme Leader,” “our Father,” “Generalissimo,” and his favorite, “Fard Farkle.”

As he was groomed for office in the early 1990s, radio broadcasts started referring to him as “Dear Father,” instead of “Dear Leader,” suggesting he was either getting a promotion, or the country just wanted to borrow money for a date.

After taking power in 1994, he continued his father’s brutal policies and devoted much of his country’s scarce resources to building the world’s fifth-largest bouffant.

He leaves behind his three sons, Hwhy Did-hee Tek So-long Tu-di?, Du Tell, and Wut Da-hey!

BUY THE FREAKIN’ BOOK: http://www.createspace.com/3721076

All Contents of This Site Copyright © 2010-Eternity by Jim Earl

(Please note: the freakin' book contains HUNDREDS of obits,
but obviously not some of the most recent ones published 
in this blog.)

用电脑科学免费上网 Uncategorized | Tagged Adolf Hitler, bouffant, 上网科学工具app下载, Generalissimo, Joseph Stalin, Kim Jong-il, North Korea | Leave a comment

用电脑科学免费上网

Posted on November 28, 2011 by Jim Earl

Karl Slover, one of the last surviving munchkins from the film The Wizard of Oz, is now a friend of Dorothy’s undertaker.

Slover reportedly succumbed to a heart attack after he tripped on a bottle cap and fell into a cat bowl. The medical examiner listed the elderly Slover “dead at 93 -centimeters.”

In 1939, Slover was paid about $50 a week to act in The Wizard of Oz, or about “one quarter scale.”

Looking back, Slover always said it was important to live life to its half-fullest.

Never one to look down on an acting role, Slover once said, “There are no small parts, except on my body.”

Slover leaves behind a cigar box containing his bed.

Posted in Uncategorized | 用电脑科学免费上网 Judy Garland, Karl Slover, Mickey Rooney, Munchkin, 老王科学的上网工具下载 | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Daniel Ruge, President Reagan’s White House Physician

Posted on 用电脑科学免费上网 by Jim Earl

Daniel Ruge, the man chosen to be Ronald Reagan’s White House physician during his first term as president, has died from a ruptured gipper.

Early in his career, Ruge practiced medicine with First Lady Nancy Reagan’s stepfather, who taught him the family secrets of pre-death facial embalming.

After the 1981 assassination attempt on Reagan, Ruge remained at Reagan’s side and nursed him back to health with the president’s favorite vegetable dish: Baked Catsup.

Ruge never stayed for the 2^nd term. He was asked to leave in 1984 after he gave the president a battery of diagnostic tests which declared him brain dead.

Dr. Ruge requested his body be dug up every year, examined by doctors, and declared fit enough to serve public office.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Daniel Ruge, gipper, 上网科学工具app下载, 老王科学的上网工具下载, Ronald Reagan | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Joseph L. Owades Inventor of Light Beer

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Jim Earl

教你科学上网下载Oculus客户端和游戏-好色VR:2021-7-5 · Oculus 和 Gear VR 要从 Oculus Home 下载VR游戏、VR应用需要VPN翻墙，下面教你科学上网下载Oculus客户端和游戏准备工具： 1、一架小飞机（帆樯用），推荐https: ...

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3Joseph L. Owades, the biochemist whose recipe for light beer achieved the impossible feat of making crappy beer even crappier, is now more stale than a Herman Cain pick-up line.

Fresh out of college, Owades got his first job researching for Fleischmann’s Yeast. Then he found out Fleischmann was one of his mom’s canasta friends and “Yeast” was another thing entirely.

When Miller Brewing Co. bought his process they marketed the new beer with the familiar “tastes great, less filling” jingle, replacing the less successful “Hey! You gotta chug twice as much of this crap to get a buzz!” jingle.

Over the years Owades wrote over 40 research papers on beer, all of them supporting the same thesis that he’s okay to drive and nobody understands him.

Owades requested his body be brewed into a tasteless yellow liquid and poured directly into the toilet to save time.

科技上网工具下载安装科技上网工具app下载 | Tagged beer, Beverages, Brewing, Herman Cain, Joseph Owades, light beer, Miller Brewing | Leave a comment

trojan客户端下载 - tlanyan:2021-6-13 · 官网下载配置教程 clashX-v1.20.3.dmg 官网下载配置教程 trojan Linux客户端 trojan-1.16.0-linux-amd64.tar.xz 官网下载 trojan iOS客户端 iPhone/iPad打开App Store，搜索Shadowrocket、Pharos Pro。搜索不到请参考 “获取ios科学上网客户端”，安装后配置请

Posted on October 24, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3William Irwin Wolff, M.D., originator of the modern colonoscopy procedure now practiced in well-ventilated clinics around the world, has finally seen the murky light at the end of the long, disgusting tunnel.

After graduating from New York University in 1936, Wolff spent years pioneering the field of colonic investigation. Then he became a doctor.

He was the first to develop a safe method for examining the full length of the colon without having to first unhook it from the family Slip N’ Slide.

A dedicated intestinal surgeon, Wolff was known for diving headfirst into each procedure, barely stopping even to catch a breath. Friends say there was no impediment that could keep him from getting his hands dirty.

As president of the New York Surgical Society, Wolff published more than 120 scientific papers. All of them double-ply.

获取科学上网客户端 - 推酷:2021-6-11 · 下载客户端，连接上网。第一步本人写过“一些vps商家整理”可供参考；第二步“再谈科学上网”，用文中两三条命伖即可部署好SS服务端。本文针对第三步进行讨论：获取科学上网必须用到的客户端。

Wollf’s last request was that his sons might continue his legacy taint-free.

Posted in 用电脑科学免费上网 | 科技上网工具下载安装 Colonoscopy, New York Surgical Society, New York University, Slip N' Slide, taint, William Irwin Wolff M.D. | Leave a comment

福源币手机端下载 - 币搜:2021-4-28 · 谢谢科学上网。。 OK用客户端 APP可众用的风声太大听不发表于 2021-3-20 09:54科学上网。。 OK用客户端有没有好用的工具分享一下风声太大听不发表于 2021-3-20 09:54科学上网。。 OK用客户端客户端我前段给卸载了现在再想下载不知

科技上网工具app下载 October 17, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3Elwood Perry, who in 1946 invented the Spoonplug fishing lure loved by millions of fishing enthusiasts, is now chum.

锦鲤浏览器下载_锦鲤浏览器官方下载-太平洋下载中心:2021-6-14 · 锦鲤浏览器电脑版是款操作上手简单一键连接即可使用的网页浏览工具。锦鲤浏览器正式版不管是视频、游戏、对战平台还是通信聊天软件，都能 ...

During his career, Perry discovered two profound truths about outdoor sporting:

One: Always drag a lure so it bounces off the bottom.

Two: Never, ever, ask Ned Beaty about that rape scene in “Deliverance.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 用电脑科学免费上网, 科学上上网工具下载, Fishing lure, Outdoors, Perry, Recreation, 上网科学工具pc端下载 | Leave a comment

Steve Jobs, “Dear Leader”

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Jim Earl

Steve Jobs, the computer pioneer who co-founded Apple and inspired people all over the world to think outside the box, is now stuck inside one.

Sources say just moments before his death, the ailing Jobs turned beige and dragged himself into the trash.

The news came as a shock to countless Apple fans, who still insist they’re not going to buy his death until a later version comes out.

多态zpn软件客户端-多态加速器-多态app邀请码-新云软件园:2021-2-13 · 多态zpn是由北京最前台科技打造的一款网络加速辅助工具，多态加速器帮助广大用户朋友伔轻松流畅的浏览国内外网络，新云小编在此为大家带来了多态zpn安卓版,多态苹果版,多态电脑版,多态Mac版等等，欢迎用户伔选择下载体验！

A true visionary, he was the first to see the real commercial potential behind the graphical user-interface. Especially when it was manufactured in Chinese sweat shops.

Among his many patents was the “Hockey-puck shaped mouse,” or as Chinese workers call it, “the only thing strong enough to snap my neck after securing the chord to an 8^th floor railing so that I may leave this daily torture and finally taste the sweet relief that is death -mouse.”

Windows PC客户端小白科学上网教程:2021-1-2 · 1. 软件安装 Windows - ShadowsocksR 4.7.0 系统要求： Windows XP 及众上设备要求： Windows 计算机下载软件导入节点设置您可众登录管理后台“获取订阅链接” 点击复制订阅地址。

Jobs’ last wish was for Apple Police to search the surrounding neighborhood in order to find out which one of his employees accidentally took home his liver.

This obit was made on a Mac.

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

上网科学工具pc端下载 Uncategorized | Tagged Apple, Chinese sweat shops, Macintosh, Pioneers, Pluto, 用电脑科学免费上网, Thomas Edison, Zune | 3 Comments

Arch West, Creator of Doritos

Posted on 科技上网工具下载安装 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3Arch West, who 50 years ago took a warehouse full of cornmeal, MSG, and pork excretions, and turned it into the world’s first edible Superfund site, is now covered with an orange, crusty-coating of crispy death.

Doctors say dying was the only natural thing he did his whole life.

A company spokesperson denied West died while testing his latest creation, “Double-Fisted Kettle Cooked Carburetor-Cleaner Flavored Chips With Tangy Asbestos.”

Food historians say you can still find vintage examples of the first Doritos ever manufactured moldering inside Paul Sorvino’s intestinal gas pockets.

A humble man by nature, West often declined to take full credit for Doritos’ inception in 1961, instead giving most of it to NASA’s helpful staff of Nazi chemists.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Ralph Edwards, TV Pioneer

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3Ralph Edwards, the host and creator of “Truth or Consequences” and “This is Your Life,” two of the most popular shows in television history, has just created another hit, called “This is My Death.”

During the 1950’s, his shows were so popular, that a town in New Mexico re-named itself “Truth or Consequences.” Unfortunately the “truth” was that it was too close to a nuclear testing range, and the “consequences” were cancer.

Every installment of “This Is Your Life” started the same way. Edwards would surprise a hapless celebrity with the phrase “This is your life!” whereupon the celebrity would finally get the message his career was over.

Remaining active throughout his 92 years, Edwards also created such well-known shows as, “The People’s Court,” “Name That Tune,” “The People’s Consequences,” “Name That Court,” “The People’s Tune,” and “Truth Court Consequences Tune People’s Name The.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Name That Tune, Ralph Edwards, The People’s Court, This is Your Life, Truth or Consequences, Truth or Consequences New Mexico | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Ruth Siems, Inventor of Stove Top Stuffing

Posted on September 5, 2011 by 科技上网工具app下载

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

Ruth Siems, the home economist who created Stove Top Stuffing and made it the most popular Thanksgiving leftover since vomit and domestic violence, died last week of a heart attack after “experimenting” with a vibrating turkey baster.

Stove Top Stuffing was first marketed by General Foods in March 1972, and proved to be so popular with the public, Nixon put it on his enemies list.

Easily prepared in just five minutes, Stove Top stuffing comes in a wide range of flavors, including “turkey,” “chicken,” “beef,” and “smelly uncle Harold.”

According to the official United States Patent description, Stove Top Stuffing’s secret lay in the crumb size. You see, if the dried bread crumb is too small, adding water to it makes a soggy mass; too large, and the result is gravel. In other words, people pay way too much attention to this kind of shit.

Siems requested her remains be toasted, crushed into eraser-sized lumps, and then rammed up the ass of a Butterball turkey so those cheap bastards at General Foods can finally taste the bitter revenge of a woman screwed out of 30 years of patent royalties.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Bread crumbs, cook, General Foods, Home, Ruth Siems, Stove Top Stuffing, Thanksgiving, United States | 1 Comment

老王科学的上网工具下载

用电脑科学免费上网科技上网工具下载安装 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

John Rice, the self-made Florida millionaire who at 2 feet, 10 inches, was one of the world’s shortest twins, has died after falling off a footstool.

Over the last 25 years, Rice and his equally small brother Greg became millionaires doing infomercials and acting in TV and film –you know, mostly shorts.

As news of Rice’s death spread, flags all around the state were lowered to one-quarter staff.

Rice’s brother asked that John be remembered as the indomitable optimist who always saw every glass as less than half full.

Rice is survived by his brothers, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy and Happy.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged celebrity dwarf, Florida, John Rice, Television | Leave a comment

Leo Kahn, Founder of Staples

Posted on 上网科学工具app下载 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

Leo Kahn, founder of Staples and a pioneer in big-box retailing, is now a pioneer in pine-box decaying.

Kahn tragically died after a series of strokes. By the time doctors got to him, he was already canary yellow and covered with a unique, low-tack adhesive that allowed his body to be removed without leaving marks or residue –not unlike a pad of 3-inch square Post-it Brand notes. With prices like $2.99 for ten pads of 50 sheets each, it’s not hard to guess why this week is “Memo Mania Week”!

Kahn opened his first store in 1986 and offered every item you’d ever need in an office, from reams of copy paper to rape kits.

ssr怎么设置_ssr手机使用教程_手机版ssr怎么设置:2 天前 · SSR 电脑设置科学上网教程-SSR如何使用教程 - 冬天博客 2021年7月14日 - 首先我伔启动一下“SSR”软件,不同于SS,SSR比起SS会更加稍微好用一点,并且SSR新增了一些“混淆”方式,具体是什么我也不过多,毕竟我伔只需要能使用科学...

Today the chain generates over $27 billion a year, primarily because it gives millions of employees something easy to steal while their souls are being crushed at bank jobs.

Kahn requested his internal organs be cushioned in bubble wrap and grouped in highly visible, strategically located “pods” where customers can bring in their internal organs and refill their precious bodily ink fluids.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged big box retailing, bubble wrap, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, ink, Leo Kahn, 用电脑科学免费上网, Post-it notes, Special fine paper, Staples | 1 Comment

科学上上网工具下载

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3George C. Ballas Sr., a Houston developer who invented the Weed Eater, is now being eaten by weeds.

Ballas soon began experimenting by poking holes in a tin can with fishing wire and attaching it to a rotary lawn edger. Seven maimed cats later, the “Pussy Eater” was born. But it wasn’t until someone suggested he use it on weeds that his invention really took off.

Ballas requested his remains be cremated and his ashes scattered in front of a leaf blower.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Dancing With The Stars, Houston, Kim Kardashian, leaf blower, Mark Ballas, Weed Eater | 用电脑科学免费上网

科技上网工具下载安装

科技上网工具下载安装上网科学工具pc端下载 by Jim Earl

电脑科学上网工具介绍 PC电脑免费伕理上网方法介绍 ...:2021-3-26 · 电脑科学上网工具介绍 PC电脑免费伕理上网方法介绍 admin 发布于 2021-09-18 分类：网络技术评论(0) 现在这个社会生存还真困难，上个网也要被监视、审查，我就想说：世界那么大，我想出去看看！下面我收集了一些电脑上用的科学上网软件，都是 ...

Mike Yurosek, the inventor of those peeled “baby” carrots used around the world by heroin addicts trying to kick the habit, died last week after chomping down on his own niblet.

It was in 1986 when Yurosek first perfected a way to take misshapen and broken carrots that would ordinarily be discarded, and basically make a huge fortune out of trash.

PC端写真批量浏览下载 - 木头分享-木头分享:电脑硬件检测工具 AIDA64-PC PC AG网页视频嗅探下载v4.2 美图录妹图 – 图片打包下载爬虫工具 UltraISO Premium Edition v9.7.2.3561高级破解版 PhotoshopCC 2021 v20.0.9.28674 中文精简绿色版 LZZ磁力资源搜索器 Bilibili视频下载器 – 支持批量下载UP主专辑

Many less-successful Yurosek innovations followed, including “Baby, Baby Peas,” “Zuchinni-Weenies,” and the puzzling “Mushroom-Shaped Mushrooms.”

Thanks to Yurosek, Americans today are eating a lot more carrots than their parents did. They’re also eating a lot more insect parts and rat droppings, so I guess things have a way of balancing themselves out.

Yurosek was an active volunteer at religious organizations and could often be seen whittling down a knobby, misshapen crucifix into bite-sized pieces.

The deceased requested his body be dismembered, shaped into 2-inch segments, and pumped through pipes into a peeling tank for final polishing.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Carrot, Collections and Indexes, Cooking, crucifix, Fruit and Vegetable, heroin, Home, 科技上网工具app下载, Snack food, United States | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Rebecca Webb Carranza, Inventor of the Tortilla Chip

Posted on August 1, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3

Rebecca Web Carranza, acknowledged creator of the first tortilla chip, died of a heart attack last month when she accidentally ate a priceless plate of nachos in the shape of the Virgin Mary.

Witnesses say her body was found cracked and soggy, lying face down in a half-eaten bowl of picante sauce surrounded by a bunch of teenage boys too shy to leave the snack table to go mingle with the girls standing by the keg.

Relatives say there’s no truth to the rumor she died after breaking her hip on an unusually heavy chunk of guacamole.

Carranza’s Los Angeles tortilla shop was the favorite of many celebrities. Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, who played Jack Benny’s valet on radio and television, would often buy a bag of her chips and then swallow them whole to create his horribly painful voice.

Carranza requested her remains be stored in an airtight, plastic bag for freshness, until the time comes when she must be covered with cheese under a heat lamp.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Avocado, Eddie Rochester Anderson, Guacamole, Jack Benny, Los Angeles, Salsa (sauce), Snack food, Tortilla, Tortilla chip, Virgin Mary | Leave a comment

科学上上网工具下载

Posted on July 25, 2011 by Jim Earl

Witnesses say he died after an irate customer rammed a crowbar into his mouth-slot when he refused to dispense fifty dollars.

News of his death couldn’t be confirmed until four days after he was deposited at the morgue because the bank said they had to put a hold on his corpse.

路由器搭建SSR - 科学上网-shadowsocks:2021-4-6 · PC-hosts修改上网 Android-host修改上网 dowsDNS racaljk-hosts 一直在更新的host 自建PAC服务器教程 pp chrome免费科学上网 pritunl Ubuntu 14.04安装Pritunl vultrl 安装Pritunl 在 CentOS 7 ProxyBroker SS&SSR使用教程 andriod安卓ssr手机客户端使用教程

In a recent interview, the 84 year-old Scottish inventor recalled how the original machines were so primitive, they only dispensed haggis.

The world’s lowest ATM is located 400 meters below sea level near the Dead Sea.

And the world’s stickiest is in Amsterdam. It is literally packed with semen.

Posted in 科技上网工具app下载 | Tagged Amsterdam, Automated teller machine, Business, Dead Sea, Financial services, haggis, Invention, 科技上网工具下载安装, Scotsman, semen, Tibet, Vending machine | Leave a comment

From The Archives: Susan Atkins, Born Again Christian

Posted on July 18, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3
Susan Atkins, whose fame stems mainly from the fact that she’s not nearly as cute as Squeaky Fromme, is dead

Atkins lived a quiet, middle-class existence during her early years, singing in her church choir and helping out with numerous charity stabbings.

After running away from home, the teenage Atkins was fortunate enough to meet up with our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who asked her to live with him at Spahn’s Ranch.

It was there that Jesus taught her the finer points of robbery, murder, and pitching songs to music executives.

Atkins bragged that at the crime scene she tasted the blood of Sharon Tate. But what she didn’t know was that Tex Watson secretly replaced the blood of Tate with that of coffee heiress Abigail Folger. And believe you me, she could tell the difference.

Relatives and loved-ones can console themselves with the thought that Susan is now up in heaven giving gonorrhea to Dennis Wilson.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Abigail Folger, Charles "Tex" Watson, Charlie Manson, Dennis Wilson, gonorrhea, 科技上网工具下载安装, Jesus Christ, 上网科学工具app下载, 科技上网工具app下载, Squeaky Fromme, Susan Atkins, Tex Watson | 1 Comment

Frank Neuhauser, Winner Of The First National Spelling Bee

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Jim Earl

http://jimearl.com/Morning%20Rem.mp3
Frank Neuhauser, winner of the very first national spelling bee in 1925, is dead. D-E-A-D. Dead.

A family spokesperson said Neuhauser died of Myelodysplastic syndrome, a blood disease so hard to spell many doctors refuse to cure it.

First prize included a trip to the White House to meet President Calvin Coolidge, where he quickly learned the word “boring.”

Since then, it’s been a tradition for contest winners to visit the president in office, including George W. Bush, who still insists “LMNOP” is one letter.

Neuhauser requested his body be used in a sentence and buried within two minutes and thirty seconds.

Posted in 用电脑科学免费上网 | Tagged Calvin Coolidge, Frank Neuhauser, George W. Bush, gladiolus, List of Scripps National Spelling Bee champions, Myelodysplastic syndrome, 用电脑科学免费上网, Scripps National Spelling Bee, United States, White House | Leave a comment

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

用电脑科学免费上网

科学上上网工具下载

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

Like this:

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

科技上网工具下载安装

Like this:

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

上网科学工具pc端下载

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

Like this:

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

老王科学的上网工具下载

科技上网工具下载安装

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

科技上网工具app下载

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

科技上网工具下载安装

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

Like this:

蓝灯vp官网7天试用-outline

Share this:

上网科学工具app下载

Future Obituary – Ted Cruz, Canadian Sausage, Pitchman For Snot

Share this:

科学上上网工具下载

Future Obituary: Roger Ailes, Sexual Consultant

Share this:

Like this:

Antonin Scalia: The Poor Man’s Robert Bork

Share this:

Like this:

Lavoy Finicum – Oregon Militia Spokesman, Mormon Recruiter, Incompetent Cowboy

Share this:

Like this:

Dr. Wayne Dyer, Former Catholic School Driver’s-Ed Instructor

Share this:

Like this:

Rudy R. Perz, Creator of The Pillsbury Doughboy

上网科学工具pc端下载

Like this:

Darrell Winfield, Marlboro Man and Full-Flavored Smoke

Share this:

Like this:

Melvin Gordon, CEO Of Tootsie Roll

Share this:

科技上网工具下载安装

Future Obit – Camille Cosby: Lead Accountant at Cosby Enterprises Inc.

Share this:

Like this:

Future Obit – Dick Cheney: Avid Hunter, Fitness Freak, Monster

科技上网工具app下载

科学上上网工具下载

S. Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A

Share this:

Like this:

科技上网工具下载安装

Share this:

Like this:

老王科学的上网工具下载

Share this:

科技上网工具app下载

用电脑科学免费上网

Share this:

上网科学工具pc端下载

John Galardi, Founder of Der Wienerschnitzel

Share this:

Like this:

上网科学工具app下载

科技上网工具下载安装

Like this:

用电脑科学免费上网

用电脑科学免费上网

Windows PC客户端小白科学上网教程:2021-1-2 · 1. 软件安装 Windows - ShadowsocksR 4.7.0 系统要求： Windows XP 及众上设备要求： Windows 计算机下载软件导入节点设置您可众登录管理后台“获取订阅链接” 点击复制订阅地址。